I don't know many writers and those that I do know are yet to be published or have their work widely known. However, I do know that we all have different approaches to writing and yet we all feel the unique and consuming pressure that writing brings. Even when you're not a world renowned author or even have the slightest inclination for other people to read your work, I can guarantee that if you enjoy writing you constantly feel pressure over the words you select and the story you choose to tell.
Whilst writing Enkindled I was constantly asking myself if a certain plot was the right way to go or if my character should look a certain way to represent a certain group of people or even if I should go against the grain entirely just for the sake of it. And don't even get me started on choosing characters' names! I have always known that I have had this tendency to question everything I do but when I began writing my latest book, an idea that I'd had for years and seemed unable to escape, I was shocked to learn that I could actually write instinctively. I only had the smallest of ideas to begin with, which is a scary thing in itself as there are so many avenues you can go down when you only have the bare bones of a concept, but as I began to think of characters, settings and plots I found that rather than questioning myself I just wrote what felt right. Of course, I still question plots and characters (especially their bloody names) but what writer with any worth doesn't do that? However, as the plot has grown and threatens to become its own, ever evolving monster, I have thoroughly enjoyed just going with whatever I think suits the story. The problem with fantasy is that it is such an established genre with its own rules and worlds that it's difficult to create a unique story that still appeals to those that like to get lost in that universe. I think the answer to this dilemma is to just forget about the people who might read it and focus on the person who is definitely going to read it: myself. I like the world I'm creating, the characters I'm falling in love with and a story that seems to be taking on its own life without much help from me. I'm excited to see where it goes and, even though I've planned the whole thing, as soon as I start typing away just a single line of dialogue or description can make me think about the entire plot in a new way. Writing instinctively may be risky in that I'm not sticking to a tried and tested formula or even a rigid plan but writing something that I'm not completely happy with (or at least mostly happy with, who is ever completely happy with their work?!) will be a reward in itself. I still like Enkindled but when an idea takes over and demands to be written what else can you do but just go with your gut?
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Absolutely everyone on the planet, particularly the British population, has a visit from The Doubt Monster. It is a grey, messy beast that feeds off your knock backs in life and excretes uncertainty all over your brain until you're not even sure if that cup of tea you just drank was a good idea. Coincidentally, I did just drink a cup of tea and it was a good idea.
Like most writers my book has been rejected by a few agencies by now, which wasn't a huge surprise by any means, and my quest to find a job that makes me feel like I have some purpose in life is proving futile in the extreme. I just don't know what to do or to feel to be perfectly honest. In terms of my book, The Doubt Monster is rampant in its hunger to put me off selling it to more book agencies. "Are you sure this is good enough?" It asks, "Do you really think you're meant to be a writer? Maybe you should try something else, although that might fail, too." All in all, I've been asking myself a lot of questions recently about my book and whether I should make some serious changes to the plot and characters or even if I should continue to try and get it published. Rejection is par for the course when it comes to writing, I know that. But when it feels like everything you have applied for over the past six months, both jobs and agents, has been with energy and vigor and is basically amounting to nothing it's hard not to feel a little down. In my heart of hearts I still adore my idea for Enkindled and I just hope that there is one person out there who is willing to take a chance on it. I'm always open to developing and changing its concept, providing that I approve of the suggestions, and so I know that I have to keep telling myself not to give up. I do have other ideas I wish to explore, as mentioned in a previous post, and there is one that I'm giving some serious thought to as writing as a book. Although this feels like I might be giving up on Enkindled, I know that I have to get it written down and who knows what will come of that? It might turn out to be rubbish, it could be my best work yet but it could also inspire new ways to approach Enkindled. Everyone has their down moments in life, particularly those of us who consider ourselves to be creative types, but, for me, I think the best way to fend off The Doubt Monster for as long as possible is to just keep writing about the things that I love. I know that I want to be a published writer more than anything and the only way that can happen is if I write something, stopping now when I'm just getting started would be a resounding victory for The Doubt Monster and we just can't have that. I have a confession to make. I'm having an affair. With a Word document.
Recently there have been a few writing competitions that I have come across, which I have been keen to enter, and so I have written a couple of short stories in addition to the sequel that I'm working on. However, I've found that I've loved working on these small projects and the idea of writing more short stories to explore some of the other ideas I have is very enticing. The only problem is that I feel like I'm cheating on my novel, which I feel should be taking priority in terms of my writing time. If I'm serious about getting my books published then, surely, I should be spending as much of my time on them as possible, right? When it came to writing the first book this was definitely the case but I think part of me feels that there is less pressure when it comes to the second book because, let's face it, I haven't even got an agent for the first book, yet. This means that I don't necessarily even have to write it, I'm just doing it because I enjoy doing so and really do love the characters and story that I've created in the first book. This is probably why I've allowed myself to spend some time writing whatever comes in to my brain and getting lost in new worlds filled with new people. There is always the risk that delving in to something new and shiny with bucket loads of potential is going to distract me from my current, prolonged work and, in the end, it turns out to be a dud that I wasted time on. Even though I do feel guilty at times for working on other projects I'm starting to accept that it's perfectly fine to do so because, as a writer, there's nothing worse than an idea that refuses to leave your mind. It will stick around for weeks, posing questions and seemingly creating its own characters until you get it down on paper and give it the structure it deserves. Having lots of ideas can't be a bad thing, can it? Enkindled may be the project I'm most focused on now but, hopefully, when I'm finished with it there will be a desire from people to read something new and I'd like to be able to fulfill it. So, even though affairs very rarely end well, I'm going to continue with mine with the mindset that it's just a bit of fun on the side as long as I come home to the world that I've loved for so long. So I've sent my book off to an agent (eek!) and eagerly await their reply. In an odd way I'm looking forward to the rejection letters that are likely to come as, to me, it means that I'm at least on my way in to the writing world. And, of course, if I do ever get published I can remind said agents that they rejected my masterpiece (I would never do that, I'm too worried about karma/I'm too much of a wimp.)
Anyway, now that my book has been sent off I've been feeling a bit lost as to what to write next. I've been writing down ideas for future projects but my mind is very much focused on my book series and I just can't wait to crack on. I know how it's all going to end and I've got a plan for the bits in between, which will probably change but at least I have a plan for now, and so all I want to do is write it. I have started writing a very poor first draft but from my experience with my first book the first draft is always naff and then after it's been obsessed over for months everything turns out all right in the end. I'm really enjoying it so far but at the back of my head all I keep thinking is: "Am I jinxing this?" By writing the rest of the series am I setting myself up for a fall? If you've read any of my previous posts (which you should do, they're bloody marvelous) you will know that I'm quite careful about how I talk about myself and my writing. I want to seem confident but not too confident and I do worry that writing the sequel to my book, which hasn't even been picked up yet let alone published, means that I'm getting a bit cocky. However, I REALLY LOVE WRITING STORIES and so I feel that it's perfectly acceptable for me to jump right in to the next one. If all goes well, I have a sequel ready to edit and rewrite and if it doesn't then I've created something that I've enjoyed. It doesn't bother me that I may have written a complete novel that needs to be changed, if a publisher wants to publish it then I'll do pretty much whatever they want but if I haven't enjoyed the process then that will bother me. I'm creating stories that I'm really passionate about and would like to read myself. Yes, I want to be published but if I let the business of writing and all of its possible outcomes get inside my head I may never type or write another word, again. Therefore, I'm plowing on with my sequel and no one can stop me! Okay, so it's not 'Lady Rees of Cardiff' but I think it's even better news as I've spent months worrying about it BUT I finally have a title for my book!
I have spent so long trying to think of something that sums up the book and so finally deciding on a name has been a huge relief. As I mentioned in my previous post I'm completely useless when it comes to opening/closing sentences and titles so it's a small miracle that it hasn't taken me another five months just to think of a name. I think my biggest concern over the title was that I'm hoping for the book to be the first in a series and so I feel there is more weight placed upon the title of the first book as it sets the tone for the rest of the series. As well as this a book series is often named after the first book and, if by some amazing piece of luck, my books are successful then I don't want to be wincing every time someone mentions the 'X Series'. So what is this [incredible] title I hear you cry! Well, I can officially announce (I'm trying to sound more important than I am, you may have noticed) that Ellie Rees' debut novel will be called 'Enkindled'. "That's amazing! How on God's green earth did you come up with that?!" Thank you, dear reader, that is most kind of you and in answer to your question, I had to put pressure on myself. During the course of my writing I've kept telling myself that I can think of a title at the end but now that I'm in a position whereby the book is very nearly where I want it to be I can't really move forward with it until I have title. Therefore, I made myself sit down and think about a title. I thought all about the useless ones I had come up with thus far and told myself never to think about them again, there's no way I could ever make them work. I then thought about my story as a whole, rather than focusing on just one aspect of the plot which I had been doing until that point. Surprisingly, forcing myself to come up with a title actually worked and I almost slapped myself for not thinking of it before, especially because it's one of my favourite words that I use in the book. As it turns out, 'Enkindled' could not be more perfect for me nor for the story I'm trying to tell. So I've finally finished the second draft of my book! Hoorah! I am actually really excited and happy about this as I feel that the story is a lot stronger and more developed than the first draft, although there are still some kinks I need to iron out and so the third draft beckons!
One aspect of writing that I've always struggled with and that has become more prominent during the writing of this book is ending a chapter or paragraph effectively. When I've come to the end of a section, like most writers, I want it to end with a punch that stays in the reader's head but I always feel that my attempts are mediocre at best. I became aware that I am falling in to a pattern of ending chapters with short, sharp sentences, which is great when you want to shock the reader or create suspense but twenty-two chapters of the same technique can get incredibly boring and predictable. I know that a lot of screenwriters live by the rule of 'end a scene with a visual' but there doesn't seem to a general train of thought when it comes to novel writing. I suppose this is a good thing as the writer has complete creativity but I have to say that I am clueless when it comes to writing a powerful ending. Another thing I struggle with is titles, I still haven't given my book a title let alone the chapters! I know I'm going to forego chapter titles otherwise I'll spend months screaming in frustration but I can't not have a book title, can I? Everything I think of seems too over the top, cheesy or dramatic and I don't want people to laugh at my book before they've even read it. I've tried looking at key themes and plot points but nothing is coming to me and I just wonder if this is a problem for a lot of writers or just me. I know that some writers have a title before they even begin writing but I always thought I'd discover mine along the way and so I'm hoping that the third draft brings with it a light bulb moment. Anyway, if anyone has any tips on how to rectify this problems I would be eternally grateful if you could send them my way. I'm more excited about this book than ever and I really want it to be as great as it can be before I begin the, no doubt, painful task of getting it out to publishers. And now I can't think of a decent sentence to end this post with. As my search for a job goes on I have suddenly become my family's PA, which means that anything that needs posting, buying or collecting is now my responsibility. My mother has also been on at me to clean the house from top to bottom every twenty-four hours but we all know that's not going to happen (even if I did I would never meet her high standards, she takes house proud to new dizzying heights.) But besides my new role as Ellie Rees, Family Admin Clerk, I have tried to fill as much of my time with writing my book as possible and it's all getting quite exciting!
I'm currently writing the second draft and all the anxieties and worries I had over the first are ever so slowly disappearing as I develop plots, add new ones and change my characters. My main problem is that I tend to get a bit carried away and want to cram all of my new ideas in and, a lot of the time, I don't need them or I just need to hold back until later on in the book or series (if it ever gets that far.) Sometimes I will have a sudden brainwave and solve a plot point that has been nagging at me for days so I quickly make a note of it and before I know it this new idea has spawned another twenty that I have to include, somehow. Although I do believe in writing down every idea that pops in to my head in case I may want to use it for other projects, there does come a point when you have to be strict and critical with yourself. One of the biggest dilemmas I have been facing in writing a fantasy book is that I want this world to seem as real as it can be, which means every aspect from what food is popular to what its people do for fun has to be covered if it's going to be convincing. Therefore, I feel like I need to keep adding a plethora of information in to the book so that the reader has no doubt in their mind that this place could be real. The tricky bit is knowing what to include and what not to include, something I'm learning as I continue along the writing process. Do I really need to describe how my fantasy people live in great depth or is it best to slowly reveal this over the course of the story? Which is more natural? I suppose there is an argument for both as the reader needs to know the characters' surroundings before that part of the plot can move forward but I also think that an overload of description and information can quickly become dull and boring. In any real life situation we are not given the facts all at once and straight away, we discover them for ourselves or learn about them so I think that is the best way to approach my writing. Getting carried away with ideas is a great way to get creative and open up new possibilities but I know that I also need to try and be that person who can show some restraint and can lead my reader along with enough juicy bits to keep them interested. Here's hoping! |
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